Don't give up

Just back from Aussi to HK last Saturday. Home sweet home.

after hard work on last 3 days, finished all things and having a first holiday.

i never missed Hong Kong Before. so much, very much. My friends and my family.

i hate to have bigness trip. no reason, i just don't like. may be there are some reasons, but they don't matter.

i want to stay with my family more time.

help my little sister for her A-level exam. NO time.

i feel helpless, weakness.

Just want to cry.

i cannot sleep because of my sister.

why she just does not care about herself.

why she thinks she can get pass with just "read" but no "exercise" ?

i love her, just as if my children.

may be i treat her not so well during normal days.

i watched her growth up, meeting requirement on several mile stones in her life.

she was did them all well.

please, please let her do well this time.

i have to leave her soon. i do believe i will regret not being with her in her hard time.

i can quite the job. i don;t care the fucking job anyway. too much calculation, too much dirty money. i hate business in this way. i hate i was not employed, but bought instead.

i hate to become a salve.

i hate i have no control with my time.

i hate i cannot be selfish.

do i over react?

do i magnify the problem, my disagreement, my freedom?

i am not a good brother. i set a bad example to my sister.

she like me so much, my bad so much.

lazy, hiding, forgetive, rude, weakness....

i am too sad. i'm just freaked like my sister.

please don't give up. never.