after hard work on last 3 days, finished all things and having a first holiday.
i never missed Hong Kong Before. so much, very much. My friends and my family.
i hate to have bigness trip. no reason, i just don't like. may be there are some reasons, but they don't matter.
i want to stay with my family more time.
help my little sister for her A-level exam. NO time.
i feel helpless, weakness.
Just want to cry.
i cannot sleep because of my sister.
why she just does not care about herself.
why she thinks she can get pass with just "read" but no "exercise" ?
i love her, just as if my children.
may be i treat her not so well during normal days.
i watched her growth up, meeting requirement on several mile stones in her life.
she was did them all well.
please, please let her do well this time.
i have to leave her soon. i do believe i will regret not being with her in her hard time.
i can quite the job. i don;t care the fucking job anyway. too much calculation, too much dirty money. i hate business in this way. i hate i was not employed, but bought instead.
i hate to become a salve.
i hate i have no control with my time.
i hate i cannot be selfish.
do i over react?
do i magnify the problem, my disagreement, my freedom?
i am not a good brother. i set a bad example to my sister.
she like me so much, my bad so much.
lazy, hiding, forgetive, rude, weakness....
i am too sad. i'm just freaked like my sister.
please don't give up. never.
